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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26178709">out of my head, out of my mind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iolite666/pseuds/Iolite666'>Iolite666</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Minifics [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coming Untouched, Deepthroating, M/M, Oral Sex, Sylvain's rambling internal monologue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:34:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26178709</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iolite666/pseuds/Iolite666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sylvain finds that being on his knees in service helps take himself away from his mind.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rodrigue Achille Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Minifics [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858063</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>out of my head, out of my mind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>two sylvain-centric minifics in a row? more likely than you think! this boy has infected my mind and will Not Leave, someone come get him</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As long, magic-scarred fingers curl into his hair, Sylvain closes his eyes in bliss. <em>This</em> was where he belonged; on his knees, serving another. Though, this was a little different than the other times, where he’d put his hands on wide, curvy hips, and nuzzled into a wet cunt; <em>this</em> was more important, this felt better. No one could say he was a disappointment in bed, but his current partner made it his mission to make sure that Sylvain understood that he was <em>wanted</em>.</p><p>“Mmmm, that’s it, Sylvain, good boy, take me deeper…”</p><p>Sylvain moans, though the volume is muffled as he dips his head down and takes Rodrigue’s cock further into his mouth; Felix would kill him <em>and</em> the Duke if he knew of this, but Sylvain was addicted to the praise, to the warm fuzzy feeling that fills his chest the entire time he’s warming Rodrigue’s bed , and if he were a less cynical man he’d call the feeling love, but he knows even if he is wanted, that love is very different.</p><p>The tingling pain in his scalp as Rodrigue unintentionally pulls on his hair has him tearing up, and then Rodrigue speaks, “Oh, darling, you look so pretty, crying for me.”</p><p><em>Oh. </em>That only makes the tears fall more frequently and Sylvain can feel the calloused thumb wiping them away from his eyes too much, it almost makes him flinch backwards, but he had to be <em>good</em>.</p><p>“Sylvain? Are you okay?” That wasn’t the lovely, sex-rich voice he was expecting, and Sylvain feels terror spike deep in his chest. Was he? As if he was. </p><p>He nods frantically, or at least, as frantically as he can with a cock in his mouth, which to his dismay, had started to go soft. Sylvain flicks his tongue under the head of Rodrigue’s cock, and nearly wriggles in pride at the choked out moan he receives in response and the muttered answer of ‘I suppose that answers my question.’</p><p>Sylvain wants to laugh. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be okay, but here, kneeling before Duke Fraldarius, he thinks this is the closest he will ever get to the conventional definition of okay. </p><p>The hand that had been wiping his tears away slips down to the side of his jaw, and Sylvain makes a questioning noise at the tender touch. Through the teary blur of his vision, Sylvain can make out a pensive look on Rodrigue’s face, that then sharpens into concern and oh no.</p><p>“Please do not lie to me, Sylvain, not like this.”</p><p>Something horrid, clawing and consuming, roils in his chest and he <em>hates</em>. He hates himself, and for a startling moment, hates Rodrigue, hates his concern and hates how weak he is to it, because he finds himself agreeing with a slow blink and nod, which is met with a stern shake of Rodrigue’s head.</p><p>Sylvain reluctantly pulls himself back, and opens and closes his mouth a couple of times as he struggles to find the words he knows he needs to say. </p><p>“I…” he coughs a little, and wants to preen at the taste of pre-cum on the back of his tongue, but Rodrigue is expecting words, not animal displays of lust and contentedness, that for once, aren’t crafted as a way to punish himself. “I’m good to carry on. I just… it’s a lot.”</p><p>The way Rodrigue tips his head to the side is tender, and almost puppy-like, and it’s so endearing that Sylvain can feel his heart thump <em>hard</em> in his chest. “A lot how?”</p><p>“Uh… The attention, it’s” Sylvain swallows past the lump that forms in his throat, “I’m not used to being so, so wanted, I guess. Kinda sad, huh?” The laugh that strangles in his throat is croaky and pathetic and nowhere near convincing, and Sylvain wants so bad to close his eyes and not look at the pity on Rodrigue’s face that… that doesn’t manifest? Instead, Rodrigue looks angry. Oh, oh no. Pity he could handle, but anger?</p><p>Rodrigue shutters the anger away from his expression, and Sylvain feels the fear that had doused his stomach start to fade. </p><p>Instead, the Duke murmurs another order, and Sylvain rushes to comply; “Take me in your mouth again, Sylvain. But let me set the pace, yes?”</p><p>Sylvain nods, eager to get back to what he knows. Sex is familiar, sex works, and when it doesn’t, Sylvain convinces himself that it does. </p><p>Sylvain opens his mouth and shuffles forward slightly, to take Rodrigue in his mouth once again. The Duke had softened in their talk, and Sylvain takes it upon himself to get him back in the mood, hollowing his cheeks and sucking, careful to not let his teeth scrape sensitive skin as Rodrigue starts to harden in his mouth. Hands in his hair stop him from bobbing his head forward, and Sylvain looks up to Rodrigue, who moves his hips forwards while holding Sylvain’s head still in a test thrust.</p><p>Immediately, a fog begins to encroach on Sylvain’s mind, comforting and blocking out the thoughts that riot in the back of his head, that he’d revealed too much, that he’d just invited pity and that he’d let Rodrigue see the rot that inhabited every inch of his being, disgusting as he was. Sylvain whimpers as Rodrigue slides his cock deeper into his mouth, and sucks gently, distantly hearing the deep groan that rumbles out of the Duke’s mouth.</p><p>Having control taken away from him is simultaneously frightening and incredible; Sylvain can feel his heart pounding in his ears as he relaxes against the adrenaline running through his veins, a feeling that has him shifting on his knees and rubbing his thighs together, relishing in the stickyhot feeling of his cock rubbing against the front of his underwear. </p><p>Usually, usually he would have to touch himself as he went down on his partner, his thoughts would wander and he wouldn’t be able to stay fully hard, but here, he’s harder than he has been in a long while, and he’s leaking into his underwear. Goddess, the heat in his stomach is building and Rodrigue’s pace is increasing, cock wetly sliding in and out of his mouth but never pushing too hard at the back of his throat.</p><p>He wants it to.</p><p>He brings his hands up and paws at Rodrigue’s hips, before he settles himself down on his legs and tips his head up, and by the way Rodrigue swallows and passes one of his hands through his hair, the Duke has cottoned on to his message.</p><p>It’s a slow, inexorable slide, and Sylvain wants to emblazon this moment into his long-term memory, knows he’ll think about this endlessly as he rubs himself raw late in the night when he’s unable to sleep.</p><p>Just before he shuts his eyes, too taken with the idea of having Rodrigue’s cock down his throat to even think of keeping his wits about him, that fog buzzing in his head yet again, he catches the way the Duke’s head tips back and a loud moan leaves him, and it sends fire curling into his lower stomach.</p><p>The fire tightens into a lashing whip, and Sylvain moans, startled, as he feels his orgasm start to wash over him apropos of nothing as he bucks his hips, the sensation overwhelming as it is shocking, and the way Rodrigue moans above him, broken and ragged, only makes him fall deeper into his abyss of pleasure. </p><p>He feels Rodrigue’s cock pulse on his tongue and tries to bring his brain back together long enough to bring his partner off as well, and going against what he was told, begins to bob his head in an unheard rhythm, the world pleasantly fuzzy around him, muted by pleasure. </p><p>The Duke is speaking, Sylvain realises, and he strains to pay attention.</p><p>“Oh, darling, I- that’s it, you look so radiant in your pleasure, so perfect, so <em>lovely</em>…” </p><p>His throat aches a little, piercing through the haze slightly, but Sylvain doesn’t care for himself in this moment, and takes Rodrigue as deep as he can, the tightness of his throat constricting around the tip of the Duke’s cock, his positioning all wrong to take him down to his root, but it’s enough. More than enough, if the way that Rodrigue pulls on his hair with the roughness he rarely shows tells him the truth.</p><p>Bitter salt coats the back of his tongue, and Sylvain hums; the brine of sex was nothing new to him, natural and all-consuming and something he <em>loved</em>, the feeling of belonging that came with having evidence of his partner’s pleasure coating his mouth was something that oft outstripped any of the other earthly pleasures he could chase around the monastery.</p><p>Sylvain feels dazed and dizzy when Rodrigue pulls him off of his cock, and instead of picking himself up, dusting himself off, and shamefully bathing himself and his clothes in the dead of the night like he knows he should, Sylvain clings to the Duke’s strong thigh and nuzzles into the warm wool of his breeches.</p><p>He’s overstepping his boundaries, in more ways than one, but as Rodrigue’s thumb rubs across the tip of his nose in a facsimile of a kiss, he thinks he doesn’t mind feeling seen and known in ways he often finds hard to understand.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hope you enjoyed! come scream at me on <a href="https://twitter.com/raymond_peets">twitter!</a> please note im proship!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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